


You Never Do

by dattumblrgal



Series: Echoes [1]
Category: One Direction (Band), Zayn Malik (Musician)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Crying, M/M, just a lot of sadness in general, louis is mentioned by name the others arent, mentions of cheating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-01
Updated: 2017-07-01
Packaged: 2018-11-22 03:54:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11372049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dattumblrgal/pseuds/dattumblrgal
Summary: All there was left was the dull beeping after the end of a phone call. Beep. Beep. Beep. And then just agonizing silence.AKA my take on the rumored phone call between Zayn and Harry around the day Zayn left the band





	You Never Do

            All there was left was the dull beeping after the end of a phone call. _Beep. Beep. Beep._ And then just agonizing silence.

                        <<<        >>>

            It was sudden. Just the ordinary sound of his o _pening_ ringtone that Harry hears dozens of times every single day. Because of the various time zones Harry’s always switching too quickly, phone calls in the middle of the night aren’t that much of an uncommon thing in his life. Most of the time, it turns out to be just his mum or a friend, who had no idea what time is it in Malaysia or Japan. The phone had already woken him up, so ignoring it would be a waste of perfectly good dream. He blindly located it in the mess of his pillows and duvet. Without checking the caller ID, he picked up.

            “’Ello?” Harry’s voice was barely working after a few hours of sleep and a show earlier that night.

            “ _Harry? Did I wake you_?” Harry immediately sit up, so fast he almost blacked out for a second. Finally, the one person he’s been waiting to hear on the other end of the phone.

            “Zayn? Oh, God. Yeah, but it’s fine. You finally called. I’ve been worried. Are you alright?” the questions just flew right out of his mouth. It’s been almost a _week_ since Zayn left to go home for some time. The last time Harry heard from him was when he landed and sent a very plain text saying he landed safely and that he’d call later. Later apparently meant six days.

            “ _I’m fine. I’m really sorry to call you this late but we need to talk,”_ Zayn’s voice was shaky in a way it always is when he’s about to cry, but Harry decided it was just bad reception.

            “Okay. What do you wanna talk about?” Harry was anxious about the conversation. Things between them have been rather…shaky these past few months. Every single conversation including the words “ _we need to talk”_ scared the shit out of Harry since their relationship started to crumble up on itself.

            “ _Okay. Yeah,”_ on the other end, Zayn took a deep breath, clearly reluctant to have this conversation, “ _I’m just going to say it like it is, because this isn’t something that can be sugar coated. I’m leaving. Leaving as in leaving the band and not coming back. Ever, I think,”_ Harry’s heart dropped in his chest. There was it. The words Harry feared more than anything else. He kind of knew, though. He _felt_ it was coming sooner than later. He just didn’t think it would be this soon.

            “Alright. Yeah. This is kind of sudden. Are you sure?”

            “ _I couldn’t be more certain. Everything’s being handled legally and stuff. I just- I needed to tell you first, so I’m calling right now,”_ Harry nodded, despite knowing Zayn can’t see him. There were silent tears calmly streaming down his face. He can’t hate him for this. He loves him too much to try and selfishly keep him in the band.

            “We’re all going to miss you. You know One Direction wouldn’t be One Direction without you. And we’ll never be as good as we were with you. It just won’t be the same. It’ll never be as good. But I know how horrible this was for you lately, so I’m not going to like…yell at you to not leave or something. I’m selfish, but I would never do that to you, I hope you know that. I’d never force you to stay in a situation where you’re not happy anymore. Louis is probably going to kill you, though,” Harry chuckled wetly. His nose was stuffy by now. There were suspicious sounds coming from the other end of the line indicating that Zayn’s probably crying as well.

            “ _Yeah. He’s the one I’m worried about. I’m in for quite a big storm with him. God, he’s gonna hate me so much after this. Well, there goes my best man for my wedding_ ,” Harry would swear his heart missed a beat then. He certainly felt a pang in his chest. _Wedding._ The one Harry probably won’t be even invited to. The one Harry hopes will never happen. Maybe then he won’t be ‘ _the secret’_ or the ‘ _we wouldn’t work like that’_ anymore. He cleared his throat instead of sobbing dramatically.

            “I’m surprised you didn’t call Louis first, actually,” Harry said. Silence fell upon them. Uncomfortable one. Not the kind they both loved. When they we watching a movie, their bodies tangled together. When they we just in each other’s company reading, sleeping, smoking. When they just finished fucking, their bodies slick with sweat and they were too exhausted for words.

            “ _Told you I’m scared.”_ The silence again.

            “What about us?” Harry asked the question that has been hanging in the air since the phone first rang, “I mean… you and me. What’s gonna happen to us?”

            “ _Nothing, I guess,”_ Zayn’s voice was strained. It certainly didn’t sound like nothing to Harry.

            “What do you mean? So, all of this was _nothing_ to you?” Harry was very well aware of the fact that he was starting to raise his voice. It was 2:14AM and he didn’t give a fuck about who he would wake up.

            “ _Of course not! We…you were everything to me. You’re the only thing that kept me there that long. I wouldn’t stay for Four if it wasn’t for you,”_ Zayn wasn’t lying and Harry knew that. Zayn’s voice always gave his lies away. There were none this time.

            “Then why are you letting me, letting us go?” the tears were now rolling down Harry’s neck onto his chest. He didn’t care.

            “ _It’s just… I’ve decided to give it a shot again with- “_

“Don’t you fucking dare say her name to me,” Harry barked, “of course it’s her. Of fucking course,” he didn’t have the emotional energy to get angry over her anymore. There was none of his hatred left for her. There was only fury for the fucking fate or whatever was responsible for the love of his damn life to leave him for a girl he didn’t see as a threat. Until now, when she stole his happiness without even realising or knowing about it.

            “I just…I love you so much. Why are you breaking my heart?” sobs were now wrecking through Harry’s body. He’s probably going to wake up whomever is sleeping in the room next to him. He doesn’t give a fuck. Why should they sleep peacefully when his whole life is falling apart in the next room?

            “ _My own heart is breaking as well. I love you too, Harry. You have no idea how much. You’re like my whole fucking life. I don’t think it’s actually healthy to love someone as much as I love you. You’re my first and every waking thought and the last one before I fall asleep. Doesn’t matter if you’re right next to me, in my arms or 3000 miles away and there’s a different person sleeping next to me. I’m pretty sure you’re somehow written in my fucking DNA,”_

“Then why? Why can’t you just leave the band, _her_ , and not me? Am I not good enough? Is she better than me? Does she love you more or fuck you better? Tell me!” Harry was yelling now. The tears were full of anger, betrayal and heartbreak. He felt like there was a hole in his chest that was filled with both fire and ice. Is this how it feels when your heart is cracking into millions of tiny pieces that cannot be put together again?

            “ _You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. You’re more than good enough. I just can’t deal with so many things at once. Can you imagine what would happen if I broke up with her right now? Me leaving the band is bad enough, me breaking up with my damn fiancée would cause so much more chaos in my life. Not only public, but personal as well. I just wouldn’t be able to deal with it all,”_

 _“_ I’d be there, right by your side. You wouldn’t have to go through all of that alone. We would be together. Properly, like we finally deserve,” Harry sniffled, trying to make legible words through his sobs, “Zayn, God, I love you so much. Whatever happens, I’ll be by your side. Just please… please don’t leave me,” Zayn wasn’t saying anything, but Harry could hear him sobbing on the other end.

            “ _I can’t, Harry. Trust me, that I would fucking run away somewhere far away with you and live there until the end of our days. But you know we can’t do that. You, out of all people should know,”_

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

            “ _We would fuck up our entire lives. And you love your life, Harry. You don’t want Simon or whoever to ruin your entire career and future life just for me. I’m sure you would throw it in my face and hate me. I don’t want you to hate me. Maybe you will now, but I hope you forgive me one day. Besides, how would it even look? I left the band, but am in a relationship with my ex-bandmate? Everyone would hate me, and probably you as well.”_

“Since when do you care about what other people think?”

            “ _I don’t, but you do,”_ there was silence on Harry’s side. He had to admit that Zayn knew him too well.

            “ _See? That’s what I meant.”_ For quite some time, there was just sobbing on both sides of the phone. It was too hot in the room and Harry felt like he might actually die. Is it possible to die of heartbreak? He’s pretty sure it is.

            “I’m heartbroken,” Harry declared after some minutes passed.

            “ _Me too, baby. But this is the only way right now.”_

 _“_ I just can’t believe our relationship will be basically erased. I just broke up with my…whatever, but I can’t be a fucking mess in public, since no one knew. We were in love since we were fucking children, but for everyone else we were just best friends. All that love between us will be forgotten. We’ll be forgotten.”

            “ _I’ll never forget you, baby. I’ll never forget how your hands felt on my skin, your lips on mine. I’ll never forget how different your voice sounded when you told me you loved me. I’ll never forget how happy we were together. Maybe not all the time, but nothing’s perfect. You’ll haunt my dreams for a long, long time. I think you’re the one for me. And I’m sure I’ll never love anyone as much as I love you. Life has other plans unfortunately. But I’m still a hopeless romantic and I believe that we’ll be together again. Maybe in a year, in five or twenty. Remember this: when the time is right, I’ll find you. I’ll call you, send you an email or a fucking carrier pigeon if I have to. But this isn’t the end for us,”_ Harry was crying so hard he almost couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t believe this. Just…no. Zayn was leaving him for _her_ , so the next time Harry’s gonna hear from him it will probably be in the form of a wedding invitation. Good, in that case, he’s going to crash it.

            “I love you,” Harry choked out. He wanted to say more. He wanted to scream “ _Pick me! Pick me, you prick. We fucking love each other! Choose me for once.”._ There were thousands of words he wanted to tell Zayn, but he couldn’t. He was a fucking coward. The man he loved more than his own being was letting him go and he didn’t even fight. But Harry understands it now. He needed a moment for the words to settle in his mind and he gets it why Zayn ended it. Not to hurt him, but to save them from complete destruction of everything they ever had. If he didn’t… they would be together, but at what cost? All Harry can do now is hope that the day Zayn calls him will come quickly.

            “ _I love you, too. I’ll call you. Goodbye.”_

All there was left was the dull beeping after the end of a phone call. _Beep. Beep. Beep._ And then just agonizing silence.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I hope it was sad, because... you know that was the point. Writing about the death of Zarry was quite depressing, but I managed. Hope I didn't overuse the word "fucking".  
> Thank you so much to everyone who managed to read this whole thing! If you liked it at least a tiny bit, leave kudos and/or a comment, it means the world to me.


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